How to write with kids in the house

Ha...haha...hahahahahahahaha...phew...wipes tear...

That's a good one.  I was thinking I might have some great wisdom to share now that I have a wee one toddling around, but... basically no. At least my advice is: if you have a significant other, inform (beg) them that you need some alone time and schedule it. That's the only way I get anything done these days.

The actual clock time is not so important as the 'baby time.'  something like: after his bath, you will watch the Muffin watch Sesame Street while I (fill in the blank.). also multitask. As I write this , I am riding the recumbent bike. No other time to exercise!

Of greater concern is my braindeadedness for crafting fiction after a day chasing the Muffin. My thoughts go like this: it was a dark and stormy night. She was all alone in the house. So she took a hot shower with no baby beating at the bathroom door and then went to bed at 8 pm. It was glorious. The end.

Compelling, no?

So now I don't worry about actually making progress on one thing. I just write what sounds good and when that peeters out, I'm done. No stress. I have enough already.

Good luck!

When your characters astonish you

There is this long (like 130,000 words) story I've been working on for a while. Its a space opera.

I know, incredibly silly.

At least that's how it began. My method was to take every ridiculous thing from every space story I've ever seen/read and compress them into one place. It turned out awesome, no sarcasm at all. I love it.

And since I loved it, I kept working and refining, writing back story, etc. Suddenly, though, it wasn't silly anymore. It kind of turned into a interplanetary geopolitical military drama. Though there are still some silly bits, its now quite heavy.

And yesterday, as I was thinking about my main character, I realized something astonishing: he is autistic. High functioning, but definitely on the spectrum. He is a mathematic savant, required structure in his life, has difficulty with personal relationships and expressing his feelings, and when faced with emotional trauma reacts by either shutting down or lashing out in unpredictable ways.

This changes my whole view of him, the story and his relationship with the main female character (who is the queen of the solar system; like I said, still somewhat silly.)  I have experience working with children on the autism spectrum, but not enough to do it justice I think. autism is a fascinating way of thinking, a truly different view of life. Next step: go research autism spectrum disorders!

Moral of the post: allow your characters to be themselves. Many times they become something even more interesting than you could think of originally.

Now, the Muffin is trying to climb my leg, so I should go. :)

Triumphant Return!

Or not.

I was reminded today of my lack of activity on this bloggy thing and checked the last post.  "Its not so bad," I thought, "November 9...of 2012!!!"

Yeah...

So, the Muffin is less of a muffin these days and more of an extremely speedy layer cake. Chubby, loud, and given to sprinting to the things he wants. He regularly runs so hard into the couch, he bounces back and lands on his butt. But, he has started this wonderful thing called 'independent play.' Never for very long, but enough that it only took me four separate sittings to write this post. :)

So, new resolve, appropriate for the new year! Now I must go. Silence has fallen and that's generally bad...

500 WC

Er...I'm getting to the end of stuff I already have written.  I'll have to get my butt in gear and start working on this again.  But I do have an excuse!  The muffin has learned to roll over.  So know I go around putting him on his back on purpose just to watch him flop over on his tummy and grin with elation at his new trick.  :)




Alice was dead silent for a good thirty seconds.

“Alice?” Colton chanced timidly.

“I don’t know whether to give you a medal or shoot you, Colton.”

“I had to!” he protested, trying to keep his voice down. “They were going to arrest her and Git-mo her no matter what the video showed.”

“And so you married her?”

“It seemed a good idea at the time.”

“And she’s pretending.”

“Yes.”

“And she’ll keep pretending until you two can divorce in like two years or something.”

“Yes.”

Alice laughed again. “Who knows, maybe she is gay?”

“Alice!”

"Colton Savage, you are a moron.”

Colton agreed whole-heartedly. “What do I do?”

“You’re asking me?”

“Please, Alice!”

She snorted. “Enjoy it while it lasts, I suppose.”

“Alice!”

“What?”

“I am not sleeping with Renee!”

“Why not?”

“Alice!”

“You’ve boinked every other girlfriend you’ve had.”

“That’s not true. And Renee isn’t my girlfriend.”

“No. She’s your wife.”

“Please, Alice-”

“Is that why that Felicia woman was so pissed?”

“I didn’t tell her the truth.”

“Even worse. You dumped a swimsuit model for some chubby holiday fling.”

“Renee is not chubby!”

“Oh? What is she, Colton?” Alice purred at him. “Do tell.”

He bit his tongue, hissing at her in his fury. “I’m hanging up.”

“Do what I said, Colton. It will make it easier on you both. Maybe.”

“Alice!”

“I thought you were hanging up.”

“I can’t just go around kissing her!”

“Why not?”

“It wouldn’t be fair.”

“To whom?”

“To Renee!”

“But you wouldn’t mind?”

Colton swore and jabbed at his phone. He was going to fire Alice the second he got the courage to call her back.

Renee was curled up on her bed again.

Colton sighed heavily, knocking lightly on the door.

“Hey,” he said.

She grunted at him, clearly not pleased with him at the moment. He wasn’t either.

“I called Alice.”

“So?”

“I think she thinks its funny.”

“Ha ha ha.” Renee bit out. “So, so funny.”

“And I told her the truth. About us.”

Renee sat up and glared at him. “Why?”

“She deserves to know. I trust her with everything.”

Renee’s frown only deepened, her eyes narrowed. “And what did she say?”

Colton couldn’t help his blush. “Just what you would expect, I guess.”

Renne flopped back down. “My parents saw it.”

He winced. “And?”

“And they’re pissed, of course. Dad’s ready to hunt the guy down and chop him to bits. That jerk’s lucky we’re not back in Idaho. They’d never find his body.”

Colton was in complete agreement with Jake White. “I’d help,” he growled. Renee lifted her head to peer at him. She smiled suddenly.

“I’ll be okay.” She said. “Its more the shock, I think. I’d never have imagined I’d be on the news like this. That I’d stop a terrorist.”

That I would have married you.

Colton heard the words. She did, too. She blushed and looked away.

“Let’s stay in for a few days,” she said softly.

Colton jerked a nod and left her alone.

500 Word Challenge

Here's some more!  The muffin is growing and growing!  My train of thought usually goes like this:  I should post something...squee! look how cute he is...baby snuggles...  So yeah, blogging will eternally be trumped by baby snuggles.  But he's sleeping now, so I have a moment of sanity to do something useful. :)


500 WC

He convinced himself to stay home another day.

Alice was mildly reproving, telling him how much work she had waiting for him on his return.

Colton hung up feeling guilty and frustrated. And angry that he didn’t know why.

He went down to the kitchen and methodically ate the steaming breakfast Rosa put before him. He was dreading getting on the computer, of a search of Renee’s name bringing up some unknown picture and tag line.

He should have gone into work.

“What the-?!” Renee shouted from the living room. He flinched, setting his fork down. He went to see what had dragged so much profanity from her lips.

“What is it?” he asked wearily.

She pointed at the screen, her mouth wide and horrified. Colton made himself look.

The picture was of her and Alice, arm in arm, as they had been in front of the restaurant. Colton read the scrolling captions, getting the gist of the problem from them and the photo of him standing alone that flashed across the screen next.

“Call Alice and warn her.” Renee said in a hard voice.

“I will.”

“Is she a lesbian?”

“No.” Colton said firmly, absolutely sure of his secretary’s romantic preferences. “Its just slander. Don’t worry about it.”

The glare she leveled at him told him what she thought of his stupid suggestion. He winced. “I mean, try not to worry about it.”

She snorted and jabbed the remote. The screen went blank, reflecting Renee’s face in the bright sunlight.

Colton sighed and crossed to her.

“Its just talk.” He said gently, his hand on her shoulder. “It will die down in a few days. Besides, I know your not gay-”

“I don’t care about that!” Renee snapped, wiping her cheeks. “I care that they would dare even say anything! How dare that man take my picture and post it all over, making up lies about me?”

Colton didn’t have an answer, so just patted her shoulder lamely instead. “Sorry, Renee.”

She smacked his hand away and stalked out, her fists clenched.

Colton dialed Alice again.

“Yes?”

“Do a search of Renee in Google or something.” He could here the chatter of her keyboard, then a long minute of silence.

Alice was even more inventive than Renee.

“Sorry, Alice.” Colton said. “Really, I am.”

She started laughing all of sudden. “My mother is going to have a fit when she sees this!”

“Really, Alice-”

“Oh, I know. Don’t worry about it.” She sighed, though. “How is Renee taking it?”

Colton winced as something heavy slammed upstairs. It sounded like her dresser hitting the floor. “Not very well.”

“Poor girl. Easy to fix though.”

“How?” Colton demanded.

Alice laughed again. “Just get caught making out somewhere public. They’ll be so distracted by that that they’ll forget about our supposed love triangle.”

“Absolutely not!” Colton snapped.

“Why not?”

Colton caught himself. Alice didn’t know. Alice deserved to know, now that she was sucked into it.

“Look, Alice, its like this.”

“Uh-oh.”